This is my life

In your own space, post self-recs for at least three fanworks that you created.

Oooh, this one is always tough. All one fandom? All one pairing? Recent works vs favorite works?

I guess I'll rec things I'm proud of that I feel didn't really hit their target audience, for whatever reason.

The Grace Machine. Supernatural, Wincestiel, Explicit, 53,726 words. Summary: Sam closes the gates of Hell. Metatron kicks the angels out and closes the gates of Heaven.

When Sam's turned back from the pearly gates, he becomes something no one could have expected.

I like this story a lot. I worked really hard on it, spent a lot of time thinking through the worldbuilding (it's SPN canon, so we all know how many holes there are in that) and I just really, really like how it turned out. But for a number of reasons, it never hit its target audience, I think. I've always been sad that it lags behind my other Wincestiel stuff.

... and I can't actually find the other things I was thinking missed their audience, so here's some of the stuff I don't talk about much, or see in my kudos often anymore, I guess?

Secondhand Lions. Stargate: Atlantis, McShep, Mature, 7,652 words. Summary: John has the strangest way of showing up when Rodney least expects him.

Probably because it's not a super happy fic, in the end, this one gets skipped a lot. I like to think of it as bittersweet, but there's not a lot of love for non-straight up happily-ever-afters, particularly in SGA. I still love it a lot. (Be sure to read the warnings!)

The Games People Play. The Losers, Cougar/Jensen and Aisha/Clay/Roque, Teen, 4,013 words. Summary: A series of vignettes based on popular board game titles.

I dunno, I just really like this one. It's cute and the structure just turned out perfectly. It was one of those whizbang things that wrote itself in like, a couple hours, and I really enjoy it. *shrug*

Day 3

In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create.

Oh man, okay. I have so many things that I adore, it's tough to limit it to three, but time is not on my side. I have SO MUCH to do. Okay, let's pick one favorite per fandom.

1. Supernatural: So many many great fics, but I'm going to choose The Place of the Lion by De_Nugis. Sam/Castiel. There is nothing I like more than their take on Castiel, except maybe how they portrays Sam. Honestly, read all their Sastiel stuff (and Sam/OMC stuff) - it is great. The earlier Wincest stuff is great too, though it clearly reflects an earlier time in the show.

2. Leverage: Parachute, my very favorite Leverage OT3 vid, by thingswithwings. It has literally everything, and the vid has such a clear, wonderful narrative.

3. Stargate Atlantis: Day-Night Time Difference by chkc. I love all of chkc's stuff, and I would highly recommend looking through their works.

Here's the full 30 days, for those who want to play along.

( Day 29: What is your current project or projects? )

This one's easy; still taking a pass on Day 13 because I'm still tired and it's going to take a lot of gushing and finding links and stuff.

In your own space, post recs for at least three fanworks that you did not create. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I've done a lot of recs over the course of the fest, so I think here I'm just going to rec three vids that bring me great joy.

I Need a (Supernatural) Hug, a vid about Sam and Dean hugging by ash48.

This vid just makes me grin so big. I love it so so so much. Probably because jeez, if anybody in the world needs a hug, it's the Winchesters.

( Embedded under here )

My Brilliant Idea, McShep vid by lim (who has wonderful wonderful MCU vids, too).

This vid! OMG seriously, it is my very favorite McShep vid EVER. It is SO GOOD and SO PERFECT and SO THEM. I love them so much, and the song just makes me fucking laugh, EVERY TIME. I love it.

( Embedded under here )

Parachute, Parker/Hardison/Eliot vid by thingswithwings.

This is such an amazing vid. It is so perfectly blocked and paced and makes me just so happy every time I watch it (and I rewatch it ALL THE TIME). It is the perfect reduction of canon I have ever seen and just so so so happy-making.

( Embedded under here )

In your own space, talk about your fannish origin story. How did you come to fandom, why did you choose your fannish name, do you have more than one secret identity? Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

I'm still trying to figure out how, exactly, I found my way to fandom. I started fanwriting when I was five. (I wrote a story that was basically: Fonzie does an Evil Kneivel type trick on his motorcycle, and SLAMS INTO A BRICK WALL AND DIES! I was five. Writing tragedy and deathfic. What the hell.) Also - I shared this story with my mother, who looked at me funny but didn't make me do anything like see a child psychologist or anything, so I kept writing stories. Mostly in my head after that, and mostly self-inserts into Star Wars and the like.

Teenagerhood was bizarre. I would've been hugely multifannish, if there'd been an internet back then (I think) and then I might have figured out that I was actually in love with KITT, not David Hasslehoff.

Weirdly, once I went to college, I seem to have turned off my fannish interest. I think I just didn't have time. Music school is fucking all-consuming, yo.

I got back into it around 1999 - with, of all things, The Mummy. I found a Brendan Fraser fangroup and wrote some fiction. (RPS! Though I didn't actually want to have sex with Brendan, so I wrote us doing Tai Chi together. I wish this still existed in the world.)

From there, I moved into Buffy, where I joined a mailing list and started reading fanfiction - including slash! I was a Buffy/Spike shipper, but I found some Spike/Xander fic which made me do a Castiel-style headtilt, and then Spike/Angel (or Angelus) fanfic that made me go: OMG YES THIS ALL OF THIS FOREVER WHAT IS THIS EVEN?!!?!?!? D:

And then The Mummy 2 came out, and I started writing a script for The Mummy 3. (Mine would've been SO MUCH BETTER than the one they actually made.) I wrote other stuff, too, mostly self-insert (and my self-insert was always the best friend or maternal figure or helper person because I really did want to be besties with these people, not have sex with them).

Then Lord of the Rings happened, and I found a group of super-awesome folks to get involved with (and got initiated into LJ), started writing even more self-insert stories (still thinking they were basically original fiction at this point, ahahaha oh, no), and then. And then! gayalithiel came onto the scene and we started writing a sprawling vampire universe populated with our favorite actors. Vampire Greg. (Long story for another time.) And seriously, we wrote SO MUCH. I was so heavily into that universe. I still look back and think I could turn it into something really cool - we had some really neat ideas and did just buttloads of research and background work. Maybe someday.

And then - I finally broke the fanfiction barrier. 10 years ago, this past Christmas eve. I posted my very first fanfic, and Alexander (2004) FPS/RPS thing for the girl who would become my ex-girlfriend. I wrote a fair number of shorts in that fandom, most dedicated to her, and then everything there fell apart and my writing mojo completely dried up.

Thankfully, I got out of the bad situation, and writing came back, slowly but surely. And when my future wife introduced me to SGA, I never looked back. I have 290 works on the AO3, and 134 of them are SGA. We moved to DW pretty much the second it opened its doors, and it's become my fannish home. I'm still trying to wrangle other platforms, and I think I've pretty much come up with this (subject to change):

kate: my fannish and personal home; where my friends are; where I post about squeeful things and RL things and just about everything
kisahawklin: where all the fic is kept
kisahawklin: I keep this only for the few friends and fests only on LJ. Someday it may become obsolete, but not yet.
kisahawklin: pretty much exclusively for SPN tweeting and watching the cast live-tweet shows
kisahawklin: I get the appeal, now. Mostly for SPN and definitely for all things visual. Still learning my way around there.

And... that's that, I guess? There should probably be a note up there about falling into the incredible Losers fandom, and moving into Supernatural, but I think I've covered those enough before. YAY FANDOM! :D :D :D :D

ETA: I always seem to start blathering and then miss parts of the question! Kisa Hawklin is the name of my first D&D character and has been my online moniker since I got online, back in 1993. I do have two pseudonyms, and I challenge anyone to figure out who they are. One is almost 11 years old and the other is at least 5. Both have works posted at the AO3. (Some of my favorites, actually. I may eventually pull the 11 year old pseud into kisahawklin, but we'll see.) I doubt anyone would ever guess them, though (and have at - good luck with that!).

In case you want to play along!

My sga_santa fic got posted! It is so cool! I am bad with naming this sort of thing; it's an AU where there are houses and people are dressed in uniforms and frilly dresses and there's all the formality all the time, and the whole story is from Cadman and Aiden's POV and yet sweetly McShep, just... so lovely. The world-building is fascinating, I will always be amazed at people who can do it in such a short space like that. Lovely! Won't you go read?

Caput, PG, McShep, Cadman and Aiden heavy.

So delightful!

(I also have a lot of feels about the Jason Manns Christmas with Friends album, as well as some weird thinky thoughts about character names, and I'm roughly a third of the way through my Wincestiel December talky meme post for omens, so more to come in the next few days.)

( My original sign-up under here, for convenience. )

First off! I love it. Whatever you've got in mind, I love it. I'm soooooo not kidding. You're making something special for me, you're putting your heart into it. I LOVE IT. No matter what it is. My #1 ironclad rule about exchanges is that I want you to enjoy what you are creating. I will love it for that reason alone. If you're having a hard time of it, scrap everything and just write something that brings you joy.

I seriously read and write everything, so whatever it is you write, no matter how angsty or fluffy, I will read and love it. I love permanent injury fic or deathfic or noncon (I have a thing especially for bondage and AMTDI and impossible choices (and the aftermath of said situations)) or slice-of-life, holiday fics, and domestic fics (I am a fan of domestic fics where nothing more than cooking dinner happens, kidfic, team movie nights). Or mysteries, casefic, missionfic, horror, humor, PWP (gimme the tentacles, ALL THE TENTACLES), if you can think of it, I will love it. I guarantee.

Even my do not likes are not ironclad (except scat) - I like A/B/O that has some interesting twist on it - a way to turn the system on its head. Mpreg isn't horrible, I just prefer that you not focus on the pregnancy part too too much. If you want to have one or the other person just being attentive to the other, or a "how did Rodney get pregnant?!?!!" fic, that's totally cool! Humiliation (especially with John) has been done beautifully and I've loved it, so it's not a complete no-go either. So if you think you have a way to make me love my DNW list, GO FOR IT. Just please, don't write scat. That's one I'm not really interested in learning to love.

I like to give a lot of suggestions as jumping off points, so don't feel like you have to do any of the scenarios suggested above. They're just my attempt at giving inspiration, ways to get the wheels turning, or the muse to spread their fairy dust, or whatever. I don't necessarily want those exact scenarios (though I certainly wouldn't turn them down!), I just want to give you ideas that will inspire something you really want to write.

Have fun, and I can't wait to see what you make. <3

One last logistical note: If you're looking for me, I'm actually over on dreamwidth at kate, but there's not a lot about SGA there anymore (though I do have a dear creator letters tag that might give you even MORE ideas (because there aren't enough of those floating around)). And if you want to see what I like to read and write, I'm kisahawklin at the AO3, and here are my bookmarks.

Hallo hallo hallo!

Thank you, dear creator, for making something for me! I am SO EXCITED to receive some femslash made just for me. Seriously, this is the best idea EVER.

So, my first, ironclad rule about exchange pieces is that I want to make it as stress-free for my creator as possible. I love all kinds of fic and art, so don't feel like you have to include everything (I don't honestly think that'd be possible) or even anything from the lists and prompts below. Optional details are optional! If none of this works for you, please, throw it out the window and go with something you want to do. I guarantee I'll love it, and I'll enthuse all over you in the comments.

Okay, with that out of the way, then, let's get on with it! I do like to list all kinds of things, throwing it all at the wall to see what sticks. If something sparks you, great! If not, see rule #1 up there.

A few general likes and dislikes, to maybe help you on your way.

Likes (These change all the time, and I like a lot more things than I can ever think of when I'm writing these letters, so if it's not here, don't fret, I probably like it!)

Pretending to be married/arranged marriages
Found family, especially within teams that have to work together
Friends and family outside the main relationship
Cooking and food
Redemption
Competence
Relationships between equals (anti-power imbalance, maybe?)
Water (swimming, showers, bodies of water, anything)
Pets and/or kids
Picnics
Crossovers
Well-drawn AUs
Dub-con when both parties are actually interested and just need a push to be together
Asexual characters
All ratings - porn, while I enjoy it, is not necessary if you'd rather not make it
Porn/kink likes, if you want to write that (for non-antagonistic relationships): bondage, especially hands or holding down, wallsex, begging, strap-ons, shaving, cunnilingus, sweet, positive sex talk, snuggling and cuddling after.
Porn/kink likes for antagonistic couples: I LOVE power imbalance, a toppy-dom taking advantage of their position of power and reveling in making the weaker lady(ies) submit, fighting into fucking, marking, bondage, holding down, begging, strap-ons, dildos or jury-rigged dildo with whatever's on hand.

Dislikes (these are weirdly specific to femslash - there's a whole essay in there about why I don't mind dark, dark, dark dudeslash fics and am not really interested in dark femslash, but unfortunately not in this letter)
Abuse
Non-con
Suicide
Deathfic
Slavery

Generally I'm not a fan of A/B/O, but I might actually be interested in it when it's not all about the dudes. If that's your thing, or you think you might want to do a take on it, have at!

Fannish/pairing notes and prompts

( Supernatural )
( Stargate Atlantis )
( Bend It Like Beckham )
( Arrow )
( Buffy )
( Firefly )

( My sign-up, for posterity. )

Day 1. Discuss something old
Day 2. Discuss something new
Day 3. Discuss something made for someone else
Day 4. Discuss something made just for yourself
Day 5. Discuss something for a large fandom/pairing/character
Day 6. Discuss something for a small fandom/pairing/character
Day 7. Discuss something you're just really proud of

So, remember that writing meme that I didn't answer? I decided I was going to do audio answers to all the questions, because I had to drive home (I think this was from St. Louis?) and I needed something to do. There was a question, of the fic you’ve written, of which are you most proud? which I did actually manage to answer (in 15 minutes of meandering around the topic).

Click here to stream 15 minutes of me babbling about things I'm not proud of, things I am proud of, and why I'm proud of my Variations on a Theme of John Sheppard series.

Summary of the audio file, for those who don't want to listen to me babble in a kinda loud car: I'm generally relatively proud of things I do - the only things that I really am not proud of are some of the shorts I wrote for episodic_supernatural, sga_episodefic, and 15minuteficlets because they didn't have any structure or purpose. Even my shorts, like the Dean cross-dressing fic, are complete fics where I am trying to accomplish some particular objective. So anyway - that's to say, I'm proud of most of what I put out there.

I have a bunch of fics that I count as things I'm really proud of, and I'll read one of my old ones every once and a while and be really pleased with it, but one that always comes to mind when people ask me of things I'm proud of is Variations on a Theme of John Sheppard and its sequels. Basically I am proud of what I tried to accomplish and how I did it (with many, many spreadsheets). The last complete story, Passacaglia, is one of my favorite things ever - moving a story forward through multiple POVs and a variety of scenarios in their universe-hopping puddle jumper. I'm ridiculously proud of how it turned out.

Fandom Snowflake Challenge

In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

2012 2013

So I have a tradition of using this for my sga_santa and Yuletide reveals, but I didn't do either of those this year. I would use my two pieces for spn_j2_xmas, but I'm not really feeling it (probably because I still don't have a comment from my recipient on one of them). So this year I'm just going to pick out some of my personal favorites.

I really like most of my podfic, but Strangers on a Six Train (SGA, John/Rodney, PG-13, ~1 hr) is still one of my very very favorites - I like the sound effect I used, and I'm really pleased with my reading, and it was my very first one ever (and of course it was for podfic big bang, ha!). It's just a really great story that I had a lot of fun reading.

I don't always like my writing when I'm trying something new (genre, style, POV, whatever), but the antechamber of another world (Losers, Cougar/Jensen, R, 11,876 words) is my first steampunk-esque fic, and while it's not perfect, I really like it a lot.

Variations on a Theme of John Sheppard and its sequels (SGA, John/Rodney, NC-17, 32,130 words) are probably my favorite SGA fics. I had such a great time writing them, I liked where they went in the end, and generally I find them the most satisfying of all the stories I've written in that fandom.

Hi dwircle!

Long time no see, I know. Sorry about that – we’ve hit a submission cycle here and I’m ridiculously busy. I have a bunch of hilarious stories that I keep meaning to post about, but my workload is at Hopkins levels, so I’m pretty much reduced to: work, veg in front of the TV, go to sleep, repeat ad nauseum.

I really hate being so completely wasted at the end of the day that I can’t do anything fun or interesting. If it is more complicated than spider solitaire, I’m unable to do it. I’m still writing here and there – finished a piece for McShep Match – but not regularly during the week, I’m too braindead.

But, I’m at work, surrounded by deadline applications (due tomorrow, the three I have left haven’t even uploaded their science yet), and I need to take some time thinking about something else or I will explode. So here, have an update.

( Notes from Vegas )

( Stuff I’ve been watching. )

Holy crap! Just found out that Drum Corps International finals are this weekend! :D :D :D As Indianapolis is now only a 4 hour drive, I am seriously debating going down to see the semis on Friday (with soleta, sounds like!). The finals are on Sunday, and since I fly out at ridiculous o'clock AM, that's just not happening. But I could see the semis on Friday afternoon/evening. THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. Any locals want to go with me?

ETA: Actually, the finals are Saturday night, so we'll probably be going to those, instead, they start at 5:25pm. Who's coming?

(And a seasonal plug, because I am so damn proud of it: my SGA drum corps fic.)