on 1/24/16 04:06 pm (UTC)
kate: Kate Winslet is wryly amused (Default)
Posted by [personal profile] kate
I agree that the warning/tag system isn't perfect, but to me, that's not a reason not to use it to its best advantage. I do as much as I can, recognizing that I can't do everything - and there's no way for me to know who might be reading a story, and thus plan for their individual triggers (I have a friend who can't do vomiting - I am careful to mention any vomiting when I rec things to her, but I would never have thought of vomiting as a strong squick before I met her).

So yeah, I'm sure I won't ever be able to catch everything, but I can catch as much as I can think of, and be open to comments when I catch someone off guard, and add tags and/or warnings when it happens. And sincerely apologize - not for my story, but rather that they were hurt. Most of all, I don't want to hurt people, intentionally or accidentally, and I am sorry for their hurt, even if I wouldn't change the thing that caused it. I would like to change the early-warning system if I can, to prevent it from hurting someone else.

I feel it is a bit their own stupid fault

This is a bit out of order, here. If you are neurotypical, and have no squicks or triggers, then saying this so derogatorily is very much your privilege showing. For people who have triggers, sometimes they can lose hours or days due to reading a fic that seemed perfectly safe on the outside. And most of the people I know with triggers are EXTREMELY careful about their reading habits, but imagine every single time you see something, to wonder if it has this ingredient that makes you sick - that may or may not be on the label based on the knowledge or whimsy of the person who put it up there. Having to vet every single story is a) exhausting and b) not necessarily possible, if you don't have extremely indulgent friends who are in the same fandoms you are (see [personal profile] lucifuge5's comment about MCU above).

I am very much in the corner of people writing what they want to write, and tagging it the way they want to tag it, but it is not okay to defend those rights by laying the responsibility completely off on people with squicks or triggers and saying they're dumb for not doing a better job of managing those squicks or triggers.
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