This is my life

Late night last night (thank you, clavally for showing me my ignorance in the ways of oh-so-young-and-pretty Jared and Jensen). Jeez, Jensen was prettier than most of the women he was onscreen with.

But anyway, I get in this morning with my bitter, bitter Starbucks coffee and sit down to my first application, one to Catholic Campaign for Human Development, and google them to find the application instructions.

Of course what comes up is the organization site itself, a number of other things about the organization, and Reform CCHD Now, with the tagline For the past three years, Reform CCHD Now (RCN) has investigated organizations receiving funds from the Catholic Campaign for Human Development.

Well! That is always interesting to me, so I click on the site. And the opening paragraph is:

Since 2009, we have been working to shine the light on the problem of Catholic funds going to organizations that promote abortion, birth control, homosexuality and even Marxism.

And okay then. That’s my childhood religion, yo. I spent twelve years in Catholic school, being an exceptionally good Catholic girl. And now many churches of that religion wouldn’t let me in the door.

It shouldn’t bother me. I’m no longer Catholic (recovering Catholic, I sometimes say) and people and religions are free to believe what they want and act according to those beliefs. But it will always floor me, the thoughtless dismissal of me as a human being, and it hurts like hell coming from something I had such faith in.

ETA: I don't think all Catholics or even all people of power within the Catholic church feel I'm less than human. It's just one of those things that hits suddenly and deeply. I am actually heartened by the fact that RCN exists because it means that CCHD is supporting organizations that help LGBTQ people, support abortions, and apparently, Marxists.

I knew a lot of people there, and I'm just holding my breath for word. Hoping you and all your loved ones are safe.

ETA: Everyone I can check on is safe and sound. Deep breaths. Also, a lovely post on what you can do, if you are looking.

Male/male sex should not be listed in the "warnings" category. (Especially not on a slash comm.)

I've PMed the poster to ask them to reconsider, but man. Every time this gets my blood pressure up. Every. Time.

Sorry for the radio silence - it will likely continue a little while longer while I switch jobs and manage not one or two but three big bangs (modding x2, writing x2, and podficcing x2).

However, if you are saddened by Amendment 1 in North Carolina and the failure of the same-sex civil union bill in Colorado, then perhaps Obama stating explicitly that he is for same-sex marriage will help a little bit.

It is an uncomfortable thing to feel like crying from both grief and joy.

1. Didn't have a credit card so they almost didn't let me check in (they put a $100 charge on your debit - I don't have that much in my account). This is standard practice but the dude checking me in asked me if I had cash or someone else's credit card I could use - even after I told him this was on the company's dime. He eventually got permission from the manager but they downgraded my room.

.5 (Sorry forgot this.) Waited in line for 30 minutes to check in. Are they serious???? There were only FOUR people ahead of me!

2. The room is small, uglily furnished, and weirdly shaped. So ugly. Such cheap furniture. Crappy towels.

3. The straw that broke the camel's back: no free internet. $13.95 for 24 hours.

Fuck you, Sheraton, fuck you. All I wanted was to chat my gf for a little while before bed.

ETA: 1.5 The asshole dude who checked me in just came back after talking to the manager and said "Ok, I can actually check you in" and didn't say another word to me. Not thank you, not good night, not even "this is how you get to your room." Nothing. DIIIIIIIIICK.

ETA: No, she hasn't had the baby yet.

But my sister emailed me: "The baby's getting so big!" And nothing else. Now, I don't know about you, but I don't think of the baby inside my niece's belly as getting big (it turns out that it's getting so big they're going to have to schedule a C section), but rather a child that has been born getting big. I mean, I don't think I'm too far off with the misinterpreting, there?

But anyway - baby is still in my niece's belly, no birth yet. Soon, though, apparently, several weeks early. (My niece was a big baby, too, as were all three of her boys so far.) /ETA

So, you know how my family forgot to mention my niece getting married in my mother's living room??!?!?!!?

Well, this tops that.

She had her baby. At least a week ago, now, and I didn't hear until today. FAMILY. WHY DO YOU FUCKING SUCK SO MUCH?! >>>>>>>>:(

There have been a lot of things, lately, that make me heartsick, and finding out that The Salvation Army actively funds lobbyists to protest gay rights is one of them.

They are one of my earliest childhood memories, hearing the bell as we were leaving the store; being given change by my dad to put in the bucket.

(Thank you nagasvoice for the info.)

FUCKING COMCAST.

( Cut for extreme cussing. )

So, two weeks ago I got a flat tire just as I was coming home. I heard a weird clunking noise as I went over the first speed bump, and then a worse one over the second speed bump, and I thought, "yeah, that sounds like a flat tire" and it was. WHOOPEE. I changed the tire and I've been driving around on the donut since (I don't drive anywhere far, so no worries, please), waiting for payday (today) to get a new tire. With rent and car insurance all being on the first of the month, I knew it'd be tight, but I figured two weeks of ramen noodles and rice wouldn't kill us. Now with the cable bill, I can't afford the tire. Two more weeks riding around on that damn donut. I can't fucking win, I tell you.

Also - this is the fourth flat tire I've gotten on this car. All in Baltimore. What does this tell you about Baltimore's roads, hm? I've never had this many flat tires IN MY LIFE, living in any other part of the country. One in Wisconsin (in 25+ years), one in Oregon (in 5 years), none in California (<1 year) or NY (<1 year).

ETA: *cries moar* I just IMed with one of my admin people, asking for something, and I was terse, as I am when I'm cranky, and then she said they were sending something as proof of something, would that be okay? And I went "Ahaha, well, yeah, I guess so. I don't know how else you'd prove that. Transcripts?"

Which was totally a joke (it's funnier if you know the admin stuff). And she answered with, "Well, I guess we can see... I'll look into it." So I answered with, "No, I was joking! That's fine." And she said, "I am not used to your humor I guess...glad to know you have that side..."

Which makes me want to cry and go the fuck home.

And now, on to a nasty grant negotiation that also makes me want to cry. And then I'm going to call up the people with my car loan and yell at them. And then I'm going to call the MD tax people and yell at them. As long as I'm on a roll about my finances and all.

I have an urgent progress report and an urgent supplement application due today. The progress report is about six hours' worth of review. I got two hours done on Friday, sent the department notice of it, and started again this morning.

I pulled out my Mountain Trail Mix and started eating handfuls of it while I was working. Normally this works okay, I can pay enough attention to make sure I have a decent ratio of raisins and M&Ms to peanuts (there are almonds and cashews, too). But I wasn’t making it work, it was too peanutty. So I stopped what I was doing, poured the whole bag into a bowl and threw out all the peanuts. It took about fifteen minutes, and damn if I kept thinking the whole time "Now is not really the time" but I couldn’t stop.

I didn’t even eat any afterward.

Also, I left my lunch sitting on the couch when I left the house today. :(

Okay, so the weirdest, most disturbing thing happened to us last night.

( Cut for length and potentially disturbing content - we're fine, it was weird, not horrible, but protect yourself if you need to. )

In better news, I've written a few things. A tiny Losers Mardi Gras ficlet for katemonkey, a Parker ficlet for trobadora and a June ficlet for tygermama. I'm working on the rest of the International Women's Day ficlets, but it'll take me some time.

Get to your desk and not have your flashdrive in your pocket.

It fell out of my pocket as I was getting my badge out, so when I ran back out the shuttle, there it was, sitting innocuously on the seat next to mine. Heart attack averted.

I backed it up then (as I always do after a scare, and not often enough otherwise), and now I'm thinking about all the work I have to do, and the OTW grant that's due tomorrow that I have not even started (and that means no one else could have done anything either), and the one that's due next week that I haven't even looked at. /o\

ARG. Today is not starting out great.

Two new recipes on solstice_calendar tonight.

I don't think I mentioned it, but my main laptop's screen broke a while ago. Last night, I tripped over my remaining computer.

Currently I am typing this on an iTouch. It is not fun.

I'll keep up with things from work, mostly, so don't expect any rush jobs over the weekends. :(

As for solstice_calendar, expect a lot of music, recipes, and guest gifts. <3