This is my life

Just a wee bit? For meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee??? (I mean, like, for anyone, because this is my fest (well, half my fest - lady_krysis owns the other half ♥), and the more fic, the better, but if you really want to write a wee thing for me, my dear author letter is here).

Anyone can write for the scramble - even if you're not in the fest - even if you only want to write a couple of sentences. If you have that little idea that's been niggling at the back of your mind, write a little something! We would love to have you. <3


Ante Up: The Losers Fic Scramble 2012 | Ante Up Prompts List | Dear Author Letters | Contact A Mod

ANYONE can write for Ante Up: The Losers Fic Scramble, so spread the word! All you have to do is look at the prompts list (linked above) and see if anything inspires you. Fics for the scramble can be ANY length. Just be sure to post to the Ante Up: The Losers Fic Scramble 2012 so these lovely gifts can remain anonymous and hidden until stories go live on January 28.

Breakfast for dinner (pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausages, and toast) and The Losers. Life is goooooooooood.

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Day 15: In your own space, share a favorite memory about fandom: the first time you got into fandom, the last time a fanwork touched your heart, crazy times with fellow fans (whether on-line or off-line), a lovely comment you’ve received or have left for someone.

So this is a teenie weensie bit late, heh. I have been uh, just a little busy at work (*snort*) and this one was hard for me because I have had amazing fandom experiences IRL and online, and just, all the time. I can't possibly pick just one, so consider this a virtual fandom hug from me to you.

Other things:

I have written that Murder By Numbers fic for maharet83's request on day 7. It's shorter than I wanted, and it's actually RPF (Ryan Gosling/Michael Pitt, talking about their characters), but I like it just the same. Practice Makes Perfect, teen-ish for a bit of kissing, I guess. I might write more later, but I have so much to do, ugh, the stress is kind of killing me.

I've also written a sequel to my lolcats fic, this one an actual SGA/Losers crossover. John/Rodney and Jensen/Cougar, gen, It Runs in the Family (thanks again to storm_petrel for the werekitty inspiration).

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Day 13: In your own space, share a favorite piece of original canon (a TV episode, a song, a favourite interview, a book) and explain why you love it so much.

[Warning: The show I'm about to rec is about FBI agents that profile serial killers. There's a lot of murder (and other bad things) that happen on this show, and I've heard more than one person call it torture porn. I don't get that feel from the show, myself - and while I'm not a huge fan of crime shows, I've seen enough that this show doesn't really faze me, or make me feel like it's more OTT with violence than any other cop show. Still, if you are sensitive to these things, this show may not be for you.]

Okay, so, I love Criminal Minds a lot. It may be obvious from previous days in this challenge that it's not one of those fandoms that I'm really fannishly active in (like, say, The Losers), but I love the source material so so so much, and here's why.

1. Good writing. Man, there's so much good stuff in this show, and the first is that it's smart. I don't feel like I'm always smarter than the folks solving the crimes, I'm engaged in what they're doing, both because I love the characters and because I feel like I'm learning stuff. Also, their characterization is (usually) subtle and doesn't treat the audience like they need to be hit by bricks. A lot of characterization happens off camera and is only referenced on camera (this leads to things like my theories of Reid's wardrobe being influenced by the girls he's dating). My favorite episodes for the way they unwind are Fisher King part one and part two, which just happen to be the Season 1 finale/Season 2 opener. On top of the writing/team/everything (REID!), there's Jane Lynch as Reid's mama. I love her.

2. Amazing characters and a sense of the team as family (and there you hit one of my major narrative kinks). I'll admit I prefer Gideon to Rossi, and Prentiss to Greenaway, but no matter who is on the team, the team is AMAZING. One of the reasons there aren't any runaway 'ships is because everyone has chemistry with everyone. I can think of scenes that would work for Reid/anyone (sorry, but I think you all know my preference for Reid), Morgan/Garcia (they flirt outrageously all the time and are good friends IRL (with MGG too), Morgan/Greenaway, Rossi/Prentiss, Gideon/Garcia (I think this would be kind of cute, if I didn't sort of make the D: face at Gideon 'ship fic), Prentiss/JJ, JJ/Garcia, and the thing about Hotch is that he's so buttoned up and everyone clearly loves and respects him so much, it's not a stretch to pair him with anyone (but this is the exact reason I don't). Morgan is super-hot and also gets paired with people because, well, hot. Myself, I just love the team as family and really just want them all to be happy together. Some of my favorite episodes for team are Secrets and Lies (FBI vs. CIA, ha! - Season 1 Ep 21), The Big Game/Revelations (okay, this one is Reid-centric, but all the members of the team have their moments - warning for non-con drugs - Season 2 mid-season cliffhanger, Eps 14/15), and Seven Seconds, the team being competent in a child abduction case in a mall, Season 3 Ep 5.

3. Delightful acting and great chemistry. The reason that I can't really decide on a 'ship is because of this. They all get along and are brilliant together. I prefer to see them as family, as I don't really want any more out of their relationships, but I do read ship fic from time to time, because I want more of the characterizations. It's so subtle, I can't figure out why people aren't chomping at the bit to write the offscreen stuff that's referenced onscreen. I'd have to link every episode ever for this one, so if #2 and #3 are the things that convince you, best to start at the beginning and inhale them all.

4. Great guest stars - Jane Lynch as a recurring character (Reid's mom, naw!) and Nicholas Brendan as a recurring character (Garcia's boyfriend, naw!). And everyone else in the world, too! CKR, Gina Torres, Wil Wheaton, Sienna Guillery, Tim Curry, James Van Der Beek, Elle Fanning, Frankie Muniz (True Night, one of my faves), Anton Yelchin (Birth, Sex, Death (another fave), Jackson Rathbone (Conflicted, another fave)... the list goes on and on!

5. Dr. Spencer Reid. I love him a ridiculous amount. Partially because he is physically right up my alley (skinny, tall, long hair) but also because character-wise, he is right up my alley (genius, awkward, geek). Matthew Gray Gubler, who plays Reid, is also all of those things (with a bonus helping of dorkiness), and holds the honor of being the only Twitter account I follow in the whole wide world. I could go on about Reid for ages, but let me tell you a bit more about my favorite Reid episodes before I show you a few pictures, hm? L.D.S.K., where we learn about Reid's difficulties with a gun and some about his childhood (Season 1, Episode 6), Derailed, where he uses sleight of hand to fake out an unsub (among other things - Season 1 Ep 9), Elephant's Memory, where he sympathizes with the unsub a little too much (more about his childhood as a genius in the Las Vegas public school system - Season 3 Episode 16), Memoriam, where we learn more about his family and he works out some issues with his dad (this is my favorite Reid episode, I think - Season 4 Ep 7), Amplification, anthrax scare with Reid!whump (there's a lot of that, and a lot of Reid as damsel in distress, another of my favorite things - Season 4 Ep 20) and the list goes on. For me, my favorite seasons are 3 and 4 because it's what I call the Dr. Reid Show! There's some great Reid in Season 1 and a little in Season 2, but Season 3 they seem to catch on that he's a hit, and that stays through Season 4. Season 5 they back off Reid a little (because MGG wanted a breather - he also directs an episode) and Season 6 is the Emily Prentiss show! There are issues (MAJOR issues) with Season 6, but it is all about Prentiss, which is amazing (except for why they were doing it). I have not yet seen Season 7, and I am withholding judgement until I do.

But I did say, Seasons 3 and 4 are my favorite, because ( It's the Dr. Reid show! (Also, this is when his hair is the longest and unruliest.) (13 pictures, some quite large.) )

And that's why I love Criminal Minds so very very much. Me and soleta are in the middle of a rewatch right now so we can catch up on Season 7. We're at Season 5, and we're watching three to four episodes a night (all day on weekends we're not otherwise occupied), and I am just reminded constantly about how much I love this show and these characters and how much I wish there was more love for it on the internet. I don't do much on LJ anymore (and I know there are a few communities over there), but on DW, there's criminalminds (which I hadn't known about until a few seconds ago, but just posted - oh, looks like it's mostly fic), agents_and_unsubs and hotch_reid_rossi (which are mostly dead), and gubler_daily and pageturner, (for MGG and Paget Brewster, both of which are completely dead). I can't believe there's not somewhere that's just about squee for the episodes (there are a few episode reactions on criminalminds but not many) or meta for the show. I wish someone could explain to me why it just isn't a fandom for that. (There are a ton of MGG fans - I had a lot of stuff on my flist originally, but, much as I love him, that's not what I'm looking for, really, you know?).

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Day 11: In your own space, ask for recs. Something as simple as "I like XYZ (where XYZ is a kink, a pairing, a trope, etc) - please rec me some."

Okay, so, one of my favorite tropes is fake marriage (that then turns into a real relationship). I dunno, I can't seem to get enough. In SGA, I've read most of them, and recced some of them. I'm willing to read this trope in any fandom, so give it to me! Give me your undercover married or marriage of convenience or marriage for citizenship stories. Anything, I'll take it.

Also, while I'm here, should you get this urge when there's not a convenient Fandom Snowflake Challenge going on, try kink_finders.

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Day 10: Sometimes you run across a creator and just fall in love with what they do. Maybe they're really good at what they do or maybe something about what they create strikes a chord in you. Either way, you end up just inhaling everything they've ever done. And wanting more, of course...*g*

Share a creator with us. It doesn't have to be your absolutely favorite creator, because I don't know about you, but I have a long list of absolute favorites. Maybe pick someone less well-known, or someone who does something unique in terms of media or pairings or ships or fandoms.

Okay, so, this is so tough. Because I would honestly, unreservedly rec half my flist. Names that I had half-written posts for: busaikko (she alone has expanded my fic horizons by whole galaxies), devildoll (as I've said before: the first author in SGA when I jumped in where I read absolutely everything I could get my hands on), anatsuno (if she's reading it, I'm listening to it), chkc (chibis that make me grin like a fool, gorgeous non-chibi art - sometimes with tentacles!)... the list goes on.

But my smaller fandom needs a little love, too, and while there are a bunch of folks in The Losers fandom that I love (omg, lady_krysis and james and katemonkey and JoeLawson, the list goes on for miles), the person whose writing makes me jump up and down with glee is:

storm_petrel

So, I may be a little biased because storm_petrel wrote me By daybreak we'll be gone for ante_up_losers last year. From the notes: This is the story about how Franklin Clay grew up, joined the army, and got a pack, mostly by accident, or, as my sister calls it, being a werewolf means never having to talk about your feelings. I love this story a ridiculous amount. It's Cougar/Jensen, with Roque/Clay sort of, and just, team. I love love love love this story to bits and pieces.

( Snippet )

And let us not forget the inspiration for my sga_santa lolcat fic: The first eight don't count. Jensen is a werecat. I fucking love this fic to pieces, and it is right up there with some of my classic SGA comfort fics when I need to curl up on the couch and make myself feel better.

( Snippet )

One last rec (though, seriously, just go to storm_petrel and read everything): These things get louder (or, five times the losers met the a-team) because as crossovers go, this is the one I wanted from day one.

( Snippet )

So, that's my love letter to storm_petrel. Go, go and read. And if you haven't seen The Losers yet, let these fics convince you - it's totally worth it. <3

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Day 8: In your own space, talk about a talent (or talents) you have. Everyone's got something they're good at. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

So I'm embarrassed to ask for things, and I'm while I'm not embarrassed about my talents, I'm embarrassed to talk about them out loud. One of my cardinal rules is that if you have talent you don't have to toot your own horn, someone else will do it for you.

I'm trying to get over that because a) it's not always (or even normally) true and b) it's one of the ways that women remain silent about their talents and contributions and I think it can lead to imposter's syndrome, and that's no good for anybody.

1. I'm good with words. I write okay, but I'm pretty good at editing/betaing. I'm better with the in close stuff (grammar, spelling, punctuation, word choice, sentence/para structure and rhythm/voice as well as characterization and plot logic) than the wider stuff (structure of the piece as a whole, pacing in an overall work (I'm good within smaller sections)) and I do better on shorter works because I can do them all in one go (and the bigger stuff is small enough that I'm good at it too)...

Okay, so, there, see that? The 'I can't possibly rec myself without caveats'? THAT ANNOYS ME. I hate that I can't possibly just say, "I AM A GOOD BETA" without either adding in that only in specific ways, not all around or I can't even say "I AM A GOOD WRITER" but only "I am an okay writer." I hate it. It makes me angry that this is how I feel I have to represent myself, like I can't shine. I'm going to try to fix that on the next things.

2. I am good at music. This one, there is no caveat on (and wouldn't be even if I hadn't just given myself that lecture). When I was in shape, I was probably in the top 1,000 clarinetists in the world (and would be again, if I could get back in shape - but I don't really think I ever will). I have a good grasp of theory and composition and decent enough of history, and I would not feel out of place (nor be underqualified) as a clarinet/theory teacher at most American universities.

3. I am good at organization. I am not OTT (I like my house/workdesk tidy but not neat, if you know what I mean), but I can organize almost anything (and do on a regular basis). I love taking a whole bunch of stuff and making it into a list or spreadsheet, or finding ways to deal with systems/processes to make them more efficient.

4. I am a good teacher. A great one, if it's something I'm good at. My memories of teaching my clarinet students will always be some of the most heartwarming of my life. I think about going back to teaching a lot, but I don't really want to teach music, and one of the problems with having as many music degrees as I do is that they won't let you teach anything else.

5. I'm a good baker. I used to be terrible in the kitchen (and I'm still not a cook by any means, though I have a few dishes I can make) but I'm a damn fine baker, and I have the desire to play with baking recipes to make them right, and I love to do it.

There are actually other things I really like about myself, but I think this is enough for now. :D

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Day 6: In your own space, rec at least 3 fanworks you thought you wouldn't like (because they weren't your fandom or they pushed against your boundaries or you thought you just wouldn't be interested) and that you ended up loving.

So I don't know if I've talked about my boundaries with fic before, but it's been a kind of hilarious practice where I start doing something with an extremely limited set of parameters and then just keep expanding them until there's nothing left. I started fanfic reading with a het OTP and I pretty much read only that. Then I found slash, and was all !!!! Then I started multi-shipping (and read all these things I swore I never would, like incest and deathfic and noncon and... seriously, I don't know if there's anything I wouldn't read anymore (except unintentionally bad fic - I still back button out of stuff that I cringe at reading)).

Kink was interesting for me, I didn't think it was my thing, honestly, and I thought maybe I was just really vanilla. But then I read a few things and liked them, and then I read a few more things and liked them, and then there was kink_bingo and suddenly I was writing kink and now I read and write most kinks. Here are three that at one point or another I just thought "no way" and was delighted to be proved wrong.

( Cut for length, and possible squicks or triggers in the recs themselves. )

Randomly, I had three invites to link my work to other works on the AO3 tonight. Nothing could make me more happy! :D :D :D

tinypinkmouse posted her two podfics of my stories and hwinter translated one of my ficlets into Russian! :D :D :D

Fic: June from White Collar (from my International Women's Day ficlets
Translation: Джун by hwinter

Fic: The Clusterfuck Job (Criminal Minds/Leverage crossover: Reid walks into a bar and meets... Hardison)
Podfic: Podfic of The Clusterfuck Job by tinypinkmouse

Fic: by faith ye stand, (Constantine (movie): post-movie, Constantine helps the human Gabriel)
Podfic: Podfic of by faith ye stand by tinypinkmouse

So I was reviewing a grant application, and I read one of the reference letters. It was a typical reference letter, a little vague maybe, but you know. A reference letter.

That reminded me that I once had a teacher refuse to write me a reference letter. I had worked as his music librarian and they had overpaid me by one paycheck and I had joked that it was a bonus (while handing him the check back). He said he couldn't write a reference letter for someone who felt she could joke about taking money from his coffers. Diiiiiiiiiiiick. He was my first college band director. I looked him up. He's retired now. Then I peeked around my first college, to see who was still around, if anyone. The orchestra director, but that's about it. There was a new clarinet teacher, someone I didn't know - Todd Levy. He's the principal clarinetist for the Milwaukee Symphony, and he has a recording on iTunes of the Brahms sonatas.

It's gorgeous. I texted my brother and we back and forthed about it a while, talking about each other's playing (and he gave me the most flattering comment, I can't even tell you), and just like that I missed being a music major, being so completely lost in the world of classical music I couldn't find my way out.

I couldn't afford to buy Todd Levy's version (though I will on payday, that's a given), but I do have David Shifrin's version (and until now, it was my absolute favorite), so let me share with you Shifrin's interpretation of the two Brahms clarinet sonatas from A Brahms-Schumann Soiree:

Brahms Sonata #1 in F Minor
I. Allegro appassionato
II. Andante un poco adagio
III. Allegretto grazioso
IV. Vivace

Brahms Sonata #2 in Eb Major
I. Allegro amabile
II. Allegro, molto appassionato
III. Andante con moto - Allegro

ETA: Fixed so the links work now. Dammit, someday I will get the hang of addressing the stuff I put on soleta's site.

These are beautiful and complex works, and while similar in sound, very different in tone and theme. Clarinetists usually play them both but tend to love the one they played first the best (I played the F minor first). They're both absolutely gorgeous pieces and I cannot recommend them highly enough, and Shifrin's interpretation is good and his tone quality is what I consider to be the epitome of good clarinet sound (my one caveat: he uses a slight vibrato, and I prefer straight tone, no vibrato - this is why I actually prefer Todd Levy's version).

This, then, made me want to write Cadman and John playing these gorgeous works, so I wrote a snippet of not-Impromptu (Impromptu is from Rodney's POV; I have several thousand words of not-Impromptu written from John's POV). I have no idea if this will make any sense to anyone who is not a professional musician, but I hope it will.

( ~850 words of Cadman and John playing classical music. No, really. )

The Fandom Snowflake Challenge
Day 2: In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you did not create. Drop a link to your post in the comments. See if you can rec fanworks that are less likely to be praised: tiny fandoms, rare pairings, fanworks other than stories, lesser known kinks or tropes. Find fanworks that have few to no comments, or creators new to a particular fandom and maybe aren't well known or appreciated. Appreciate them.

I think podfic is sorely underappreciated, so I am going to rec three of my favorites. I wish I could rec some for smaller stories/fandoms, but I don't have any handy and no time to listen (and this is already a day late).

Fireball (2:34:38), written by celli, read by shaenie.

Okay, so, this story is just fantastic, a brilliant NASCAR AU in the grand tradition of SGA AUs, wonderful and fast-paced and man, if there is a better reader for something like that, I don't know it. shaenie reads fast and wry and I could listen to her for hours and hours (this one is 2:34:38 and I wish it went on for five more hours).

Junk Cheap (1:11:18), written by devildoll, read by zoetrope.

This is another delightful complete AU by the first author I read comprehensively when I jumped into SGA. devildoll's story is gorgeous and wonderful and like a warm blanket and tea on a rainy day. Add zoetrope's wonderful reading and you could curl up with this on the worst of your bad days and feel warm and fuzzy.

A Beautiful Lifetime Event (2:56:54), written by astolat, read by anatsuno and
A Missing Scene for A Beautiful Lifetime Event (12:28), written by resonant, read by general_jinjur.

Delightful story and delightful missing scene. It's the classic McShep kidfic, and if you need more of an introduction to the story, I don't know what to tell you. anatsuno continues to be one of my absolute favorite podfic readers. Her pace and accent is music to my ears, and her voices are spot on – I love listening to her Rodney. general_jinjur is brilliant too, another favorite of mine. I like her accent too, though I can't place it, exactly. I have a thing for accents, maybe. Both of these readers are amazing – I'd go for anything either of them recorded, ever.

So I am doing the Fandom Snowflake Challenge, and lucky for me, day one works neatly with sga_santa reveals.

Day one: In your own space, post a rec for at least three fanworks that you have created. It can be your favorite fanworks that you've created, or fanworks you feel no one ever saw, or fanworks you say would define you as a creator.

I don't think any of my fic defines me as a creator (every story is a piece of me; none of it is more me than anything else), and normally I'd go with rarepairs or something like that, but it just so happens that sga_santa reveals were today, and I just so happened to write three stories for the fest, each of which are something special to me.

What Happens in Pegasus, Stays in Pegasus, Rodney/Jennifer, Rodney/Jennifer/John, NC17, ~11,000 words.

This story started the moment I got my prompt, and went like wildfire. I haven't written too much het, even less explicit het, and then I've written even less M/F/M sex. As in, none. I like threesomes and moresomes, and I like het. I'm glad to have written this piece, and I hope to write more of those things in the future. I'm also pleased with Jennifer in this. I knew from the beginning that it had to be her POV and I think that it worked really well with the story I wanted to tell. Anyway, I'm pleased with how it turned out and I hope I end up writing more of these three. They're quite lovely together.

Warmth, A Divine Intervention, Team gen, PG-ish, ~3500 words.

There was a big Rodney!whump theme in the fest this year; I haven't read all the fics so far, but a good number of the early ones I read were h/c where Rodney got hurt. This is sort of in that vein, though I tried to make it mostly about the comfort (team snuggling is a personal favorite). I really planned to write McShep; somehow the team just kept butting its head in, and I decided if it was really going to be McShep, then it'd have to be in the sequel. I love the VE, though it's not the biggest part of this; I love what Rodney did (and how many episodes I had to research to get my facts right). I had a lot of really excellent ideas for porn, too, just not enough time to write them. Maybe later.

Basement cat has infiltrated heaven, werecat!John/Rodney, G, ~1200 words.

I started a super-angsty h/c fic that whumped the hell out of werecat!John and Rodney for this prompt and I got several thousand words into it before I realized it was simply too big to finish in the time available to me. So I dumped that and started this ridiculously lolzy fic (and then, when cleaning up my writing folders for 2012, promptly deleted the first one /o\). I almost asked them to post it anonymously, I was so embarrassed. I shouldn't have been; it's gotten the most comments of all three fics, despite taking the least amount of time to write, having the least words and lowest rating, and being the crackiest. It's the popular pairing; if I ever needed a reminder that any fic featuring John and Rodney is going to be more widely-read than any other pairing in SGA, this fic served that purpose nicely. I don't generally do humor (or not particularly well, I think), but rereading it, I do sort of love it, in a weird cracky way. John as a ruffled black cat will never not be funny.